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But in fact, experts don’t know where hemorrhoids come from. I had not expected that Transformers would play a role in my butt-health crisis.

I ask him, giggling, if he’s at least going to take me to dinner first. And the person I am today is a person with hemorrhoids. They’re conspicuous, but, in the end, easy to take care of. Mostly, people are sitting with no visible discomfort except that which comes with being elderly. The doctor fiddles with something and with several mechanical whirrs, the bench rises about a foot and dips forward.

'[It was a] dream come true." 'He's always been my favorite actor,' she added.

'Both he and Marty [Martin Scorcese] have such massive presences when you're around them - they're unstoppable, like this force that keeps moving; they have so much dimension, it sometimes seems impossible to keep up with them.''I really want to do a Western,' she said.

At the end of the 60-minute self-exploration I confidently declared, "Well, mine is still pretty," and then had a flashback to my summer beach vacation.

The same wise friend had transitioned to one-piece swimwear. , I thought as I strutted from my beach chair to the sea.

The seat is comfortable; no one can talk to me; I can relieve stress in multiple ways; I can concentrate. However, no matter what condition each person has, you know it’s in their ass. Inside, there seems to be a standard bench, but this one has a outcropping to place your knees on.

'I want to be the dude who is riding horses and doing exciting things - something where I get to do something physical and have to train for it.

I don't want to be the damsel.'Slated as a black comedy, it tells the story of Jordan as he becomes involved, but refuses to cooperate, in a securities fraud case which involves corruption in Wall Street and the world of corporate banking.

My almost 50-year-old friend recently told me that "hers" isn't as pretty as it used to be -- she's growing back the hair.

That brave declaration led me to an awkward hour later that evening which involved a mirror and the many different positions I might've found myself in if I happened to be having porn sex. My now-grown daughters always felt my bedroom was a mere extension of theirs and had they barged in that night, there wouldn't be enough therapy in the world. Nearly two decades later, widowed, and a few months past 50, I was questioning all sorts of things.

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